Imposter syndrome. It's a bane for so many creatives and affects everything from mental health to creative output. It's the general sense that one's work is never good enough and that any success they achieve is either a fluke or a mistake. Essentially, they are an imposter posing as a good artist.
The general consensus is that imposter syndrome is a bad thing. People should feel good about themselves and be confident in their work. Imposter syndrome causes people to second guess themselves and question every decision they make. It can lead to bouts of depression, anxiety, and an overall drop in self-worth.
I don't know anybody who isn't at least somewhat plagued by such thinking, myself included. And this doesn't come out of nowhere. I always put my all into every story I write. I want to make it the best it can possibly be. But there are some works of mine that I feel never reach the level of quality they deserve. And so when readers tell me they love a story and that it's great, I can't shake the feeling in the back of my mind that they're lying to me. That everyone is involved in some vast conspiracy to trick me into thinking that I'm a good writer when I'm actually not. What can I say? I have issues.
But I've come accept imposter syndrome as my own. Long ago, I made the determination that I was going to write stories for myself and not any fan base or demographic. While validation and support are immensely important (arguably even more important for a writer than food or water), it doesn't affect my creative output or decisions. I will always tell the stories I want to tell one way or another, regardless of how terrible of a writer I think I am.
In this way, I actually view my imposter syndrome as a good thing. It becomes fuel to constantly better myself and my work. Nothing is ever good enough. There's always room for improvement. A new level to reach. A new skill to learn. The fact that people praise a story I wrote doesn't matter because I can never relax in my craft. Seeing myself as an imposter just means that I'm in a constant state of trying to prove that I'm not, and I work harder because of it. I've come to terms with that fact, and honestly, I hope it never goes away.
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